At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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