so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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