make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
