I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
