My hand turned me down
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
