i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize