I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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