someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
