forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
