Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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