I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
