You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
