He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
