I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
there is glitter all over my balls
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
