Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
