Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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