Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
