I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
