Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
