My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
