guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize