how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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