i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
