Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
