new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
