did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
