I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You're like the curious george of whores
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think I just shit out all my problems.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
