plz talk dirty to me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
