you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
