I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
