yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
