Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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