I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize