There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize