get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
