Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
