5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I intend to get homeless drunk
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
