Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
