You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
