I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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