found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
