I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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