It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
