Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
