i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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