For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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