Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
