you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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