why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
