omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
