I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
