"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We named our party play list daddy issues
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
