wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
