just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
