so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my shit smells like andre
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
