Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
