let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
