i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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