evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
