The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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