So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
