If that was your dad, he is hot
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
