Dual....:-)
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
