woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
