How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
